


Aleks had been shot three times in his life.

by Cockbite (personalized_radio)



Series: Assassinations and Feelings [3]
Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Assassinations and feelings, Fake Chop, Fake Chop Au, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:12:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/personalized_radio/pseuds/Cockbite
Summary: Once, the bullet had grazed his thigh. There had been a lot of blood, but Sly was okay and that was what mattered. Sly had patched him up and taught him how to care for a gunshot wound if he was on his own and thanked him for saving his life.The second time, he’d been with the Hub. It was a shakedown gone wrong, in the end. Jordan had sent he, James, and Kevin to collect some money owed and they’d been ratted out. The police were there, everything had gone so fast and it was a blur in his memory; what he could still picture clear as day, though, was the pig with the gun on James. It had been fast, barely thought about, when he’d flung himself in between them; he’d run track in high school, okay, he was quick when he wanted to be and, God, he’d needed to be. The bullet didn’t hit James, because it lodged itself in Aleks’ abdomen and life had ended for a few hours for him after that. At some point, the Hub had swooped in and saved them and Sly had, once again, helped save his life. James hadn’t spoken to him for two weeks.





	Aleks had been shot three times in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Papers please saved my 'dont-wanna-use-oc's' life
> 
> you can find me at [on Tumblr](https://cockbite.tumblr.com/) if you'd like! I post fake/gta!au stuff :)

Aleks had been shot three times in his life.

Once, the bullet had grazed his thigh. There had been a lot of blood, but Sly was okay and that was what mattered. Sly had patched him up and taught him how to care for a gunshot wound if he was on his own and thanked him for saving his life.

The second time, he’d been with the Hub. It was a shakedown gone wrong, in the end. Jordan had sent he, James, and Kevin to collect some money owed and they’d been ratted out. The police were there, everything had gone so fast and it was a blur in his memory; what he could still picture clear as day, though, was the pig with the gun on James. It had been fast, barely thought about, when he’d flung himself in between them; he’d run track in high school, okay, he was quick when he wanted to be and, God, he’d needed to be. The bullet didn’t hit James, because it lodged itself in Aleks’ abdomen and life had ended for a few hours for him after that. At some point, the Hub had swooped in and saved them and Sly had, once again, helped save his life. James hadn’t spoken to him for two weeks.

The third was another graze, the severity somewhere between his first two brushes with bullets. That time had probably been worse, though, because James  _ had _ spoken to him. And they weren’t nice words. He’d thought two weeks of silence had been bad but younger-him had been an idiot to think that James, angry because he’d been made to  _ feel things _ , wouldn’t have spit the meanest bullshit he could. Older-him was more prepared, had left the honeymoon stage of devoting himself to an asshole like James and had been resigned to dodging verbal shankings while James came to terms with whatever was going on with himself. It had calmed down, eventually, and things had returned to their version of normal.

Aleks was used to getting himself hurt to save the people he cared about. 

Aleks wasn’t used to people getting hurt to save  _ him _ .

-

He hadn’t left Trevor’s bedside since he’d lost consciousness. The knife, meant for  _ Aleks _ , had long been removed from Trevor’s chest but Aleks could still see it when he blinked, the handle sticking out in the blackness between vision.

James hadn’t left  _ his _ side, and Aleks would never say it out loud but he was thankful.

Trevor was sleeping - wheezing, but otherwise peaceful. He was taller than Aleks, and bigger, but Aleks couldn’t help but think he looked so much smaller when he was like this. 

He looked his age, too young for this business.

“He’ll be fine, Aleks,” James had said half an hour ago and nothing had been said since. James hadn’t been useless, like Aleks, though. Aleks knew he was contacting every source they had, trying to figure out who had hired the assassin in the first place. And, once the client was found, there would be hell to pay. Fake Chop may have not had a huge name yet, but the name  _ Nova _ carried weight in certain circles that Aleks never wanted to be a part of. There were lines that he wouldn’t cross but that James was known for crossing, and he was okay with that. This time, for  _ this _ , Aleks wanted to know who had caused it so he could tear them apart with his bare hands and James was willing to revive the Nova name to find out. 

“I need to take a call,” James said and his voice wasn’t gentle, wasn’t pitying, but that he’d told Aleks that he was leaving for a call at all was enough for Aleks to know what James was thinking.

_ You’re compromised, you’re weak, this is your fault. _

James didn’t go until Aleks nodded, and then he closed the door behind him with barely a sound. Aleks wasn’t even sure the door was closed all the way, like James didn’t want to leave him alone.

Maybe that he didn’t want to leave him alone with Trevor. 

He didn’t want to think about it. He was fast enough to take a speeding bullet for James  _ twice _ , but he couldn’t prevent the kid he’d dragged into the crew from getting stabbed by a blade meant for  _ his _ back. 

He leaned over his knees, put his head in his hands, and tried to stop remembering.

It had just been a fucking pizza run, for fuck’s sake. He and Trevor had just gone out for  _ pizza _ and he’d been standing in front of the register, ordering, and then Trevor had yelled his name and pressed against his back and yelped softly and Aleks had been confused for a second until the people behind the counter had started screaming and then Trevor had gone down and he’d pulled the gun on autopilot, taken aim at the running figure and put him out of his misery before he’d exited the pizza place. It was all a stop-motion animation in his head, over and over, Trevor’s soft ‘ _ oh _ ’ and then him staggering away and down - Aleks pulling the gun, the man going down, people screaming while Aleks piled Trevor into the car and rushed him to Anna’s.

James had showed up ten minutes after Anna had called him, driving a motorcycle that Aleks wasn’t sure was even his, and forced Aleks to wash off, get Trevor’s blood off his hands. 

Anna was a doctor who had lost her license for dealing and Asher was a trained medic, so it wasn’t that Aleks didn’t think they’d done a good job - it was that they had to do the job in the first place.

He’d dropped his guard. He’d thought that no one would care about them once they’d left the Hub, but Nova and Immortal weren’t names with crimes attached to them easily forgotten. Nova had killed a lot of people, Immortal had been by his side, supplying him, while they did it. People wouldn’t forget that, but Aleks had. 

Joe slipped into the room, closing the door properly, and Aleks set up, sniffing hard and nodding.

“He okay?” Joe whispered, eyes red-rimmed.

“Anna said he’ll be good, probably,” Aleks shrugged, “If he survives the night.”

“He will,” Joe said firmly, “He’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” Aleks agreed, but his voice wasn’t as sure. 

Joe joined him on the couch, leaving plenty of space between them, and it didn’t make Aleks feel any better, but he was still glad that Joe was there. 

An hour of quiet passed, the only sound the heart monitor attached to Trevor’s finger and his slow, wheezing breathing.

James came back in when Joe was beginning to nod off, still shoving his phone in his pocket.

“Joe,” He called and his voice was calmer than normal, quiet, but it was enough to have Joe snapping to attention. James didn’t say anything else but Joe got the message because he got up, stretched, and patted Aleks’ shoulder - like Aleks was the one who needed comfort or something, when Trevor was the one who nearly died - before he walked out.

James came back to the couch, sitting so close that they could have been one person for all the space they took up. Aleks didn’t bother to do anything about it, not even when James leaned into him without even a word of warning or explanation. It was closer than they’d been in a long time.

Aleks wouldn’t admit it, but it was nice. It wasn’t that he thought James was  _ mad _ at him, because they weren’t fucking children, but James wouldn’t have been so close to him if he thought Aleks had fucked up.

“Two hours,” He said, “And then we’ll have our guy.”   
Aleks nodded and didn’t rib him at all when he slung an arm around Aleks’ shoulders. 

No one came back into the room in those two hours they waited, aside from Asher. He didn’t even look at them once he’d acknowledged that they were there, went about checking Trevor’s vitals, his wound, did  _ something _ that finally put a halt to the wheezing. 

Trevor looked a little more peaceful and Aleks was, slowly but surely, falling asleep against James’ shoulder when James’ phone beeped. 

“Got it,” James confirmed and Aleks stood up, missing the warmth of James next to him for barely a second before James was back in his space, standing and stretching his arms out, loosening up. 

“I need my knives,” Aleks started, but James waved it away.

“In the car. I had Aron get it ready.”   
He didn’t argue. Joe and Brett were waiting in the hall to replace them on the couch and Joe touched his arm barely three feet from the room. James stopped at the front door, waiting for him but giving Joe some privacy. 

“Make them hurt, Aleks,” Joe whispered and Aleks nodded. Joe, who went out of his way to make sure as few people as possible were injured during jobs, who couldn’t go out on collection because he would just extend the deadline, didn’t ask for this favor often and Aleks wouldn’t deny him.

He caught up with James at the front door and he locked it with the spare key and then they made their way to Aleks’ car. The passenger side was still bloody, a handprint on the window from when Trevor had used it as support and all over the inside of the door from where they’d both struggled to get him out when he wasn’t moving nearly as much as he needed to. James didn’t complain, just settled in and set his GPS up.

“Call went out for you, specifically.” James commented once they’d made their way to the busy streets, heavy with traffic, “Looks like it was picked up by some guy named Rust.”

“And the guy that put it out?”   
“I just got an address,” James shrugged, “I’d guess some dude you pissed off at some point.”   
“Yeah, ‘cause that’s a short list.” Aleks hit the wheel in frustration when he had to stop at a red light, “This is  _ bullshit _ .”

“Calm down,” James relaxed, flicked one of Aleks’ knives open to trace the blade with his nail, “We’re going to show up at his house around dinner time. We’ll get our revenge.”   
“I’m going to cut his balls off,” Aleks stared straight ahead, daring the red light to stay red any longer. It turned green.

He sped on.

“Works for me,” James shrugged and the worst part of that was that Aleks knew he wasn’t lying. One of those limits that James just didn’t have.

But that was to examine later, what boundaries James had stopped caring about long ago. For now, Aleks was seeing red; angry and guilty and still feeling the warmth of Trevor’s blood on his hands.

The house that the GPS led them to was small, out of the city and run down. Aleks recognized the area, he’d spent a night or two here...years ago. Immigrants, mostly European, more often than not so poor that they wouldn’t ever see outside of the area in their lives. 

Aleks parked the car in front of the house without a problem, the street empty. His car stood out, sleek and black and bloody in the pale sunlight.

James tossed him his knives when he got out, checking his Glock casually and screwing on a suppressor as he walked up to the door of the house looking like this was a totally normal sequence of events. Aleks found himself drawing from James’ calm. It was so often the opposite, James rushing in while Aleks tried to hold him back but he could appreciate when he was too close to the situation. Trevor had been  _ his _ , like Joe had been James’, and Aleks shoved the belt holding his knives into his pocket with that thought in his head.

Whoever this fuck was, he would be paying dearly for it.

James didn’t hesitate to kick the door in with an enthusiastic, “Hello, hello!”

He walked in like he owned the place and Aleks followed, closing the door as best he could after him. No need to have anyone seeing exactly what was going on at first glance. 

The house was mostly dark inside. The only light Aleks could see was coming from down the hall. He could make out striped wallpaper, brown and faded with holes in it, and the edge of a fridge when he peered closer.

“I’ll cover you,” James brushed the hair out of his face, the gun held loose and confident in his hand, pointed at the ground. Aleks knew the speed he could react at, though, and didn’t hesitate to start down the hall. He felt his body tensing the closer he got to the light.

Whoever the fuck was, he’d been expecting this.

It should have worried him, but he was  _ angry _ . He didn’t  _ care _ if this was a trap, he was going to rip him apart with his fingers and then -

A woman set at the table.

Aleks paused in the entryway to the kitchen, fingers barely moving in a motion for James to come over. James swept the rest of the house quickly - it was barely three rooms; the living room and a bedroom with a bath and then the kitchen and he was at Aleks’ side within seconds of the signal.

“Aleksandr,” She smiled and it was gentle but grim, “You’re alive.”   
“You put the hit out?” James raised an eyebrow, looking her over quickly. She was average height but somehow seemed small, gaunt.

“I did.” She took a slow sip of her mug, steam billowing lazily from whatever hot drink she was having. “I won’t deny it.”

She had an accent, Aleks thought, trying to place it. It pinged something familiar in him, from a long time ago, maybe before even the Hub.

“It’s you,” James didn’t lower his gun, “If you aren’t even denying it then that makes our job a lot easier.”

She laughed, taking another drink, “I’m disappointed. My help wasn’t able to kill you.”   
“You’re pushing it, lady,” James snapped, like those words were enough to peel at the steady calm he’d kept from the moment he’d rocketed into Anna’s complex. She dropped the smile. 

Her hands shook a little when she put her mug back down.

“Your hired hand almost killed a kid,” Aleks found himself saying, trying to place her. She was  _ familiar _ . 

She frowned. “A child? He was meant to kill only you.”   
“Trevor’s loyal,” Aleks snapped, “He got in the way and your man was fuckin’ sloppy.”

“Ah, loyalty,” She relaxed, taking another slow drink. It was beginning to agitate Aleks, that stupid fucking  _ mug _ . She’d nearly killed Trevor, all Aleks wanted to do was knock it out of her hand and strangle her to death, not watch her drink out of fucking chipped ceramic with a faded American flag printed on. “What kind of man have you become, that you could inspire in others what you lack?”

James’ fingers flexed on the handle of the gun and the click of the safety going off filled the quiet of the room.

The woman flicked her eyes between the two of them and her face went tight, “Loyalty  _ and _ this? What a lucky boy, Aleksandr, to have found someone so young in life. Myself and Sergiu, we were also lucky, until he met you.”

“Sergiu?” Aleks repeated, slowly, and she smiled - though it looked forced and angry.

“You don’t even remember him. Seven years, that’s all it takes for a man to forget his sins in America.”

“Sorry, lady,” James chuckled, “We commit a lot of sins.” 

Aleks saw the way his face hardened and reached out, touched his arm before he pulled the trigger, “Fuck, wait. Sergiu...why is that name so familiar?”   
“We’ll figure it out later,” James narrowed his eyes, “Aleks, she put a hit out on you. She almost got Trevor killed.”   
“We’re gonna fuck her up,” Aleks waved him away, “But, Sergiu...Why do I know that name?”

“Aleks, we’ve killed a lot of people and hurt a  _ lot _ more, you can’t expect to remember every single one of them.”   
“What about the first one?” The woman cut in and her voice was curious but her eyes burned and they were  _ hateful _ . “When your hands are washed in blood, Aleksandr, do you remember the first drop?”

And then, with a woosh, Aleks did.

“Elisa,” he blinked, “Holy shit,  _ Elisa _ ? You’re alive?”

“Who the fuck is  _ Elisa _ ?” James snapped, sounding annoyed, but Aleks could only shake his head.

“So you do remember us?” Elisa took a deep sip of her drink - it would be black tea, she’d liked black tea - and nodded. “Have the years changed me so, Sasha?”   
“I thought you were dead,” Aleks gripped James’ sleeve without even thinking about it, needing some kind of fucking  _ anchor _ after that bomb. “You were supposed to be dead.”   
“As were you, now,” She shrugged, “But fate has a way of working around that.”

“You put a  _ hit _ on me?” Aleks tried to connect the pieces and  _ couldn’t _ . “How did you even  _ find me _ ?”

“I’ve searched for you for a long time,” Elisa finished off her mug and set it aside, “From the moment I woke up in the hospital, I looked for you. And then, suddenly, fate touched me and I saw you - a picture of you in the news, at least. Wearing that silly helmet of yours, with that scary gang. It wasn’t difficult to ask some of Sergiu’s old friends about you, once I had something to show them, but it took years for me to contact someone willing to kill you. You’ve gained a name for yourself, Sasha. No one would touch you until you left your old gang.”

“Can I kill her now?” James groaned, “Have we got enough of her tragic backstory, Aleksandr? Can I just put a fuckin’ bullet in her head yet?”

“James,” Aleks shook his head, “I need to - understand, okay? She was supposed to be dead.” 

“James,” Elisa repeated, looking between them again, slower, “So those rumors were true. You betrayed another crew? It is, what is the word...ironic? No, no,  _ ch _ ronic. It is a chronic problem for you, yes?” 

“Seriously,” James looked at him, “Just one right between the eyes and then we can put the whole thing behind us.”   
“You think I fear death?” She scoffed, “Stupid boy, death would be a blessing to me. I told you, today was the day I chose to trade my life for Aleksandr’s.”   
James motioned emphatically at her, pulling a face, and Aleks found the tension seeping from his own muscles.

Elisa was a ghost, to be sure, but he didn’t need to be  _ scared _ of her or whatever was brewing in his chest. James was barely holding himself back, was only doing  _ that _ because Aleks had asked. Whatever she came out with, James would understand that Aleks had been young and stupid and what had happened to Sergiu wouldn’t happen to Fake Chop. 

Or would he? 

Aleks had just got Trevor stabbed because of his own past - he’d fucked over a lot of people on his way up to where he was today, most of them dead but some of them surely still kicking and wanting revenge. There was a lot about his life before Sly, before the Hub, before James, that no one knew about and he’d hoped to keep it that way. Fake Chop, if they ever got big enough for people to recognize his name, would be a target for all of them.

“Look, Elisa, what happened to Sergiu...It was a tragedy, but it was an accident.”

Her hands, folded together on the table, clenched tight enough that the knuckles turned white.

“You let my fiancé die  _ alone _ .”

“What, did you want me to die with him?” Aleks shot back, “He was slow, Elisa. There was nothing I could do.”   
“He was all I had left, Sasha!” She shouted, moving from static to animated suddenly, “You were supposed to protect him, that was your only job -”

“I tried, okay, I did my fuckin best, Elisa,”   
“Your  _ best _ ,” She spit and then looked at James, “You are trusting, James, to hold the gun to a woman with a viper at your back,”   
“Oh my god, shut  _ up _ ,” James groaned, not even hesitating, “Aleks, are we done? I’m gettin’ twitchy here.”

“Do you know the person you’re working with?” Elisa stood up, “Let me enlighten you,”

“Elisa,” Aleks felt fear freeze his throat, “Don’t -”   
“A skinny whelp Sergiu worked with -” she started and then there was a loud  _ pop _ and blood splattered against the wall behind her. A clean shot straight between the eyes.

She collapsed over the table, knocking the damn mug over and Aleks didn’t flinch when it shattered into four large pieces and a few chips across the dirty tile of the floor. 

“James,” He swallowed, “Fuck.”

“She’s bad at keeping secrets,” James said simply, dropping his arm so the gun was pointed at the floor, “Let’s get out of here before the cops show up.”

“She was in the middle of a sentence, man,” He said, going for joking but failing when his voice shook a little, “Didn’t even let her finish.”

“She was slow. Guess that’s a second thing she has in common with her fuckin’ fiance.”   
“The first is that they’re both dead, isn’t it.”   
“Yep,” James confirmed, popping the  _ p _ hard. The street was still empty when they walked out, leaving the door open behind them, but Aleks didn’t doubt that the cops would be called. The suppressor had stopped an echo across the neighborhood but the surrounding houses would have heard plenty.

Aleks tossed James his knives, he hadn’t needed them after all, and slid into the driver’s seat, starting the car while James slammed his door closed and then pressing on the gas to speed out of the residential area. 

Sirens sounded behind them somewhere nearly fifteen minutes later and, just to be safe, Aleks found the nearest pull off and took it. 

The pull off lost sight of the highway a few miles down the road. Things got a little bumpy when the concrete turned to gravel and Aleks realized that he’d taken them down what he could only assume was some sort of recreational path. He proved himself correct when the path opened into a rough parking lot, empty of cars, with a wooden sign with ‘Park Open 5 am - 8 pm’ painted on in bright yellow. 

“We’ll hide out here for an hour,” James decided, pulling his case out from under the chair as Aleks pulled into the darkest corner, hidden under the shade of a tall, droopy tree, and parked the car without saying anything. The ride to that point had been silent and the words brought Aleks back to attention. He’d been driving mostly on autopilot. 

He waited for the questions once the engine had died; Who was Elisa? Who was Sergiu? What had Aleks done? Why hadn’t he wanted to kill her immediately? There were plenty to start with and he figured that, when nearly five minutes had passed and James hadn’t done anything except pull his cleaning tools out and field-strip his Glock on top of the case, he was getting his line of interrogation in order while he cleaned his gun routinely in his lap.

When five minutes after the first had passed and James hadn’t said anything, Aleks shifted uncomfortably and cut a look his way before turning his eyes back to the entrance of the parking lot, playing look out. 

“So?”

“What?” James glanced at him for barely a second before he went back to oiling, finishing up as he was speaking, “I didn’t say anything.”   
“No, I know, I meant,” Aleks sighed, “You’re not gonna ask any questions? Nothing confusing to you? Don’t wanna clear anything up? Make sure I’m not going to get assassins after the crew every few months because of my sordid, secret past?”

James scoffed, “Like you’re the only one with secrets. Fuck off, I’m cleaning my gun.”

Aleks blinked and then narrowed his eyes, looking at James through the rearview mirror so he wouldn’t have to take his eyes off the entrance, “Seriously? No questions?”

James sighed, pausing in his gun maintenance to look up and meet his eye in the mirror, more annoyed than curious, “Aleksandr, if something important comes up then you’ll tell me. Whatever the fuck that was about is over, she’s dead and she’s not coming back. Can I go back to my gun now? Are we done with the feelings bullshit?”

“You’re not even pissed about Trevor?”   
“Man,” James said in exasperation, packing the parts of the Glock away easily, “Trevor is a part of the crew, Aleks. He makes decisions the same way you do; for the good of the crew. We’re in this together because any one of us would do the same thing for each other so stop beating yourself up over this bullshit and watch the damn entrance.”

Aleks opened his mouth to say something and, realizing he didn’t know what to say, closed it again.

What the fuck could he  _ ever _ say to that?

Nothing, he realized. Nothing he could  _ say _ , so he reached across the gap between their chairs and pulled James’ face into a hard kiss.

James made a surprised noise, caught off balance and Aleks took his chance to push him back and fucking clamber into his lap, reaching down to pull the lever that sent James’ seat rocking back until he was nearly horizontal so Aleks could lean over him. Fuck it if someone drove in, they’d hear them coming miles away. 

“Aleks _ andr _ ,” James yelped, still reeling from the sudden decline, and Aleks took his chance to kiss him again. James, despite his confusion, gave just as hard as he got, one hand moving to frame Aleks’ jaw possessively and the other resting on his hip to help steady him.

It had been  _ months _ since the last time they’d even kissed, let alone more, since before Aleks had been shot during the heist. James had spent a week spitting fire at him, another week treating him like a stranger, and then the weeks after that pretending none of it - _ none _ of it - had ever happened. Aleks wouldn’t admit it to anyone, not even himself, but he’d missed this.

“You can’t just fucking  _ say _ that shit, you fucker,” Aleks hissed, “You can’t just - trust me like this, are you crazy? Don’t answer that, I know you’re crazy; you just shot someone warning you about the  _ viper at your back _ ,”

“I don’t see you complaining, asshole,” James’ hand moved to the back of his head so he could force him down into another rough kiss and Aleks went with it, suddenly  _ angry _ at James. He didn’t know  _ why _ , but he was furious. James had no idea what he could have been hiding. 

“For all you know, I’ve got the Russian mob after me,” He mumbled and wondered if James would taste the truth on his tongue, “For all you know I could be dragging some dark shit behind me and it could crush Fake Chop before we even get going,”

James laughed and it made Aleks angrier, angry enough that he purposefully ripped James’ lip open but it only made James laugh more.   
“Aleks,” James pulled at his hair and Aleks had to close his eyes against a pang of want so strong that it hurt, the hair pulling and the imagine of James licking the blood off of his lip with a smirk too much for his brain to process, “I don’t leave my crew behind, not when they’re loyal.”

“I do,” Aleks bit out, “I left Sergiu behind, James, you get that? Elisa wasn’t lying, it wasn’t an accident. He wasn’t fast enough, people were closing in, I used him as a scapegoat and got the fuck out of dodge. I left them both. I dragged us out of the Hub, what makes you think I won’t disappear from Fake Chop if it doesn’t work out?”

“Hmm,” James slipped a hand under Aleks’ shirt and then settled his palm over the scar across his abdomen, a self-satisfied smirk settling over his features, “If you think you could leave me anywhere, you’re stupider than I thought.”

Aleks flushed, his eyes widening. 

“That’s what I thought,” James scoffed, “If you’re looking for forgiveness or what the fuck ever, you won’t find it from me because I don’t see anything to forgive. If you’re looking for punishment, I don’t give a shit what you’ve done or if people are after you, dude. If you’re looking for a mindblowing orgasm and no thinking for an hour, then I’m your guy. So tell me,  _ Sasha _ , what exactly is it that we’re doing here?”

Aleks stared at him, swallowing hard. What  _ was _ he looking for?

He knew perfectly well that James - and the rest of Fake Chop - were different. That they were more than the Hub and Sergiu. He knew, deep in his bones, that it wouldn’t be him that came away from Fake Chop crashing and burning unscathed.

“I’m guilty,” he wanted to say.

“I want you to be angry,” he wanted to say, “I want you to protect yourself, you asshole.”

“What if I’m not fast enough next time,” he wanted to say, “I didn’t take those bullets because you were a part of the same crew as me, you idiot, I -”.

“When have I ever turned down a mindblowing orgasm, dumbass?” He said, instead, and went easily when James dragged him back into a kiss.

-

They ended up staying in the park for longer than James had originally decided and neither of them would ever say it out loud, but they spend the last half hour hour laying on the hood and watching the stars, maybe sitting too close together. James fell asleep on Aleks’ chest and Aleks rubbed an absent finger up and down his spine while he quietly snored, thinking.

_ For a fuckin’ lunatic, _ He thought, staring up at the stars and shifting the blanket a little so James wasn’t exposed to the cool night air,  _ You’re sure soft, Nova. _

James shifted closer in his sleep, grumbling something that sounded a lot like  _ give me the blowtorch, asswipe _ , and Aleks had to close his eyes because the feeling that filled his chest was so warm it almost burnt. 

“Fuck,” He said out loud.  _ Maybe it’s me that’s too soft. _

Aleks stayed up, sitting on the roof of his car and pretended to watch the stars. Really, he was fully conscious of every noise in the dark - waiting, watching for any threat that may appear while James was so vulnerable in the open.

When James woke up, he would take them both to his place and Aleks would fall asleep in his bed again - for the first time in months, James wrapped around him like a weirdly shaped heating blanket and they wouldn’t talk about it when they woke up, but James would kiss him again - morning breath and all - and Aleks would have to cover his face to hide the flush. Would have to stamp down hard on the feeling of contentedness that followed when he woke up in that fucking bed.

Trevor would be okay, eventually, and Aleks would buy him some crazy shit to thank him without actually saying the words because everyone in Fake Chop was allergic to  _ feelings _ , and things would go back to the normal that they were all used to.

But Aleks would still be thinking - about Elisa, about Sergiu, about his past and what he had and hadn’t told James or Sly or anyone else. What could, at any time, come for him.

He would think about it - but he wouldn’t say anything.

Not yet.


End file.
